It's okay not to be okay

It may seem simple to ask someone if they’re okay, but in reality, it can be incredibly hard for them to share the truth. When my son was 15, he suddenly told us he was severely depressed and asked for help to end his life. Neither my husband nor I had seen this coming. On the outside, he seemed happy—good-looking, doing well in school, surrounded by friends, always smiling. But that was just a mask.

Once he opened up, we discovered through his search history and other signs that he had been fighting this battle alone for a long time. What followed was the most difficult year of our lives: hospitalizations, moments when he went missing, and situations where his life was at risk.

Thankfully, he eventually received the right treatment and medication, which helped him regain his will to live. Today, at 23, we remain cautious about saying he’s “okay,” but we can talk openly now. He’s training for his first Hyrox event and thriving as an IT recruiter. Most importantly, he has rediscovered his desire to live.

Talking openly with children about mental health—even when it feels uncomfortable—is essential. Silence can make struggles invisible, while honest conversations create space for trust and support. Asking questions like “How are you really feeling?” and listening without judgment can be life-saving.

A Message for Kids

If a friend ever confides that they feel depressed or want to harm themselves, it’s not a secret you should keep. Even if they beg you not to tell, the most caring thing you can do is reach out to a trusted adult—a parent, teacher, counselor, or coach. You’re not betraying your friend; you’re helping them stay safe and get the support they need.